The first time I heard the song Ekwueme,I replayed and replayed it many times and later on I would visit it once in a while on YouTube.
Ekwueme is a great song of praise and worship to God.All along I thought it was Mr.Prospa Ochimana who sang it. I thought so because the video I watched showed him beginning to sing the song which he sang with so much passion.Then after the first paragraph I saw a lady who had a headgear enter the stage and she sang with all her heart.Then she leaves the stage and Prospa Ochimana finishes the song.She looks a little bit elderly, her gloomy face expressing the pain of a battered woman. I am surprised that she was 42years at her time of death almost my age mate.
I never checked to know who the woman was up until Friday 8th April this month when the news of Osinachi’s death broke. I realized that she is the one who sang the song and then she would later collaborate with Prospa Ochimana.But how could I know, she was a simple woman who wore a headdress and a long dress,no much to show other than her powerful angelic voice.If anything, she enters the stage bowing her head, and eyes closed.Her eyes remain closed until she leaves the stage.
So after finding her on YouTube on Friday I subscribed to her channel.Most of her songs are worship songs.I found this other song that I loved,
Nara Ekele(accept my praise) a collaboration with Dr.Paul Enenche.
My heart is heavy upon receiving this news as it comes less than two weeks after another successful career woman was killed by her husband on suspicion of adultery.This is the former Kenya Railways auditor, Ms.Faith Mutinda.
The first time I saw the news broadcast of Osinachi’s death my first question was “what happened?”
We were told that she had cancer only to realize the next day that she had been beaten by her husband until she went onto a coma,of which she stayed for five days and then died.
My heart weeps for her children who will never see her again, her parents who loved and adored her,her Church,her friends, her family, Nigeria and all people whom she ministered to through her songs.
It is so heartbreaking to see women of this caliber dying because of domestic violence.Its not easy to raise up children and especially girls, to overcome all the odds of life, to make it in their careers only to be mistreated in the hands of their husbands.
The unfortunate bit about Osinachi’s death is that after being beaten sometimes back, someone removed her from her husband’s house and took her to stay with her uncle, but after sometime she sneaked back in to his house.She did this two or three times.So people tried to help her escape the violence but instead she said that it was her cup of suffering.Really?
So ladies and gentlemen,why do we encourage this.You know very well that something is bad but you are not walking away, you are silent, you are private.All these things you are assuming are the ones that grow up and even kill if not handled properly.
“If your spouse hits you once,walk away.If he looks for you,go back on condition that he will never hit you again; but if he doesn’t look for you don’t go back because he will hit you again and again.Use your legs to run away.” Pastor Sarah Omwaku
“In our marriage vows when we say for better for worse it means worse that is coming from the outside environment, not the worse that is coming from within a couple.” Pastor Sarah Omwaku
“God says that He hates divorce not the divorcee.” Ms Diana Kamande
Our society needs to change its perspective on divorcees and single parents because we will never know what happened, what they went through to reach that position.
A lady once told me that she got married to a Satanist without knowing,it took the hand of God to come out of the marriage.
Trying to understand Osinachi
Not too long ago I learnt that Ms.Bahati Bukuku had divorced her husband. I did not take it well,I thought that she should have stayed in her marriage for good public image and especially that she was a gospel artist.
In Africa and especially my village where I come from in the countryside women are expected to be married by a certain age.Infact when introducing yourself someone asks you:
In nyar Kanye?……… You are a daughter from where?
An nyar Lambwe…….. I am a daughter from Lambwe
Toitedo Kanye?……… Where are you married?
Atedo Kanyada……… I am married at Kanyada.
When you go to visit your village, they say “migogo olimowa”. Migogo is a name given to married women.If you are of marriageable age and single they will still call you migogo.When Migogos visit their villages, they are expected to stay for a short while and then they should return to their homes.Most often Migogos are seen during funerals or some unusual events.If they come back to stay at home most probably due to domestic violence, they’re called,”odhioduogo”, meaning she went and has come back.
Due to this expectation, you will find that some women get married out of pressure to be able to fit in the society, hence some of them marry the wrong men who brings misery to their marriage lives.
Whenever married ladies get challenges like domestic violence, they find it hard to go back home because they are not wanted there.Even if they go they’re told to go back to their abusive husband’s, so to some ladies, they think it’s ok to be beaten by their husbands.This abuse is rampant to an extent that you find a lady complaining that she has not been beaten.Some ladies think that it is an act of love, how ironical.
So Osinachi’s death has opened our eyes.We can now say that a divorced daughter is better than a dead daughter.
City life is a bit better for daughters but what if there’s no one to accommodate her in the city and she has to come back to the village, will she be welcomed? Will she be loved?I have heard of some family members who mistreat such ladies.Will she be given a piece of land to fend for herself?
In my village,a daughter is not expected to put up a home in her father’s homestead, so it means she will be there temporary until she builds her home and moves out.Is the society ready to support such a woman?
In Luo land a Migogo is mistreated even in death,if she dies and her husband is not able to bury her for one reason or another, she is brought back to her father’s home.However, she will not be buried within the homestead because it is believed that her spirit will torment the family.
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